Holidays and ASD

For me, much of the Holidays was driving (being dragged) here and there to visit with strange relatives I rarely saw the rest of the year. Some of my older relatives only spoke German and we couldn't even talk to each other. It was smiles and uncomfortable hugs. I never really knew why I was there or what was expected of me. Even when I was older and did try to fit in and participate in the seasonal customs, my attempts were often clumsy or inappropriate.


At 16, when my parents got divorced and I, along with my alcoholic father were estranged from the rest of the family, there was actually a strange sense of sadness and relief that I had not even considered until this very moment--the relief that all those family gatherings were over and sadness that my chance to experience being part of a family had expired.