ADHD and Mis-matchers

Adam is a classic mis-matcher. My oldest is the same. The sad part is that underneath this "survival mechanism" is a genuine need to feel a part of and connection with (that may be what is speaking some of the anger). It is great that you have caught on. There is no punishment that will "break him". And if you find one that does, what you have is a broken child. No, for this child, (and you're window is closing fast), you need to make his world smaller. Do whatever it takes to make his world so small, he can't possibly fail. Imagine he was a four-year-old. You wouldn't blame him and punish him because he doesn't understand the danger of using power tools or firearms. NO, you would remove those items from his world until he demonstrated that he was physically, mentally and emotionally ready to handle that responsibility. rule #1: Forget what he SHOULD be able to handle or what he SHOULD be responsible for. It's all nonsense. Stick to what IS, and let go of what should be. Create firm, unyielding boundaries. Take everything out of his world that he cannot successfully handle. As he demonstrates success, gradually expand his world. I like a mix of 90% success and 10% challenge in the beginning. Later he may be able to handle 80% success and 20% challenge. You might visit http://www.youtube.com/hughes1622 and watch "ADHD and Melt-downs". Hope that helps...