I recently heard, "The relationship with the therapist is more important than the therapist's intervention."

With convention cognitive therapy, I would completely agree with that statement. This requirement is but one of the limitations of conventional therapy and speaks directly to its ineffectiveness in cases like these.

My personal experience is that solutions to the issues we're discussing will not be found in any cognitive process. The root of these issues are the perceptions and processes which are generated in the unconscious mind. The thoughts, feelings and behaviors that result from these unconscious processes are like the caboose at the end of the train. It is the unconscious perceptions and processes that drive these thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Trying to change someone's thoughts, feelings and behaviors without changing the underlying perceptions and processes is simply pulling on a rubber band. As soon as you let go, it will surely snap back to its original state, hence the overwhelming failure of well-meaning psychologists, psychiatrists, teachers and counselors to bring about any lasting change for these children, teens and adults.

I routinely work with children and teens who are openly distrustful and even hostile to their "enrollment" (under duress) into my program. My approach is not to work at the conscious or cognitive level with these children. Instead, I use a variety of techniques to act on the unconscious mind to bring about changes that the client, themselves, are not even aware of.

Similar to the way the brain learns to process the complex information necessary to ride, over a period of weeks or months, the clients perceptions gradually change and subsequently, so do their thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Because these changes are driven by the unconscious, they occur as feeling absolutely natural to the individual.

In essence, I agree with the concept of the statement with the proviso that the rapport and feeling of trust can occur at the unconscious level. With training and practice, this unconscious rapport can be established in as little as a few minutes.