EMOTIONS: Past and Present

It is important to distinguish between three types of anger/emotions: the first is an anger/emotion resulting from a current experience; the second is an anger/emotion resulting from the re-stimulation of a past event; while the third is an anger/emotion resulting from the sudden release of anger which has been repressed from previous emotional events.

The first type of anger is generally correlated to the immediate circumstances (or to one's perception of the circumstances). When this type of Emotional Fire Alarm sounds, it is typically appropriate to the current circumstances and often useful in navigating (surviving) the situation.

The second type of anger is often less useful and possibly detrimental to the effectiveness of the individual as it is often not related to the current circumstances. In addition to the anger itself, the re-stimulation typically brings with it a behavior which, while it may have been completely appropriate to the past event, is most likely less appropriate to the current circumstances.

Lastly, the third type of anger/emotion is the least useful. It is the most dangerous and potentially destructive type of anger/emotion. Because it is the result of unreleased (suppressed) emotion, it is typically released at explosive and sometimes uncontrollable levels. It is rarely if ever appropriate or useful to the current circumstances.

IMHO, "Venting" anger may be an indication of either type two or three anger. Flying into a full on rage because your pen ran out of ink may be a warning of some significant unresolved issues.

Emotional Fire Alarms

Emotional Fire Alarms (Fear, Anger, Sadness, Guilt, and now Depression) were given to us (by God or nature, take your pick) to let us know that something is wrong, i.e., we're doing something with violates our values, we're not achieving our goals or expectations, we're in a dangerous place or we've lost something we value.

Whatever the reason, our Emotional Fire alarms make a loud noise to let us know something is wrong and that we need to take some kind of action--FAST!

We all know that when there is a fire, we exit the building--IMMEDIATELY!. We don't sit at our desks and finish reading our emails. We don't call a doctor to get him to stop this loud ringing in your ears. We TAKE ACTION to get ourselves to safety. An sure enough, as soon as we're outside and safe, the ringing in our head stops.

The truth is, we were NEVER designed to live with constant Fire Alarms going off in our heads. Our performance suffers. Our bodies suffer. We're not even designed to digest our food properly when we are under the stress of an Emotional Fire Alarm.

The problem is that in our society, we've gotten too accustomed to living with Fire Alarms going off in our head. We try to eat and work and learn and love with this CLANG, CLANG, CLAG... going on in our heads. How can anyone live like that and maintain their sanity?

Something we teach both parents and children at the Learning Center is to recognize a Emotional Fire Alarm as soon as it goes off, find the source of the Alarm, and take whatever action is needed to make the alarm stop. This is our Sanity Clause.