Video to introduce our new online campus: http://ping.fm/wLiKL

This is so exciting. New learning programs for $1.00 each at: http://ping.fm/l3oPN

Should I enroll my "clumsy" daughter in team sports?

Hi Shana, Wow, there have been so many great informational posts, I can't even remember the last time someone actually asked a question. And you've asked a great one so here's my take on it.

When even I get students like your "other daughter", I always recommend against team sports. It's not just the physical demands. Most team sports require something I call, "peripheral awareness" as well as and quick reflexes (excellent reactivity under pressure). These are qualities that our more "introspective" and deeply thoughtful children may not have (the children that 'respond' to situations, rather than 'react' to them.

The sports I recommend are individual sports like tumbling/gymnastics, dance, martial arts, horseback riding, etc. A well-run martial arts school with emphasis on values and respect is always a good bet.

As an aside, you might see if her 'clumsiness' is the result of a developmental delay in processing information across her midlines. Try moving your finger back and forth about a foot away from her face. Do her eyes track together or do you see one eye pause for a moment while the other keeps moving then it jumps to catch up. Try going around in a circle and then from close to far.

Can she walk forwards and backwords touching her right hand to her left knee (when it comes up) and vice-versa (left hand to right knee) as she walks. Does she walk easily and smoothly or does she hesitate and pause and have to think about which hand is which.

Does she freequently loose her place when reading? Is she left-handed? or right-handed and left eye dominant. (look at an object and put your thumb in front of it. close one eye. if your thumb moves THAT is your dominant eye. If you thumb stays in front of the object, then the open eye is your dominant.

When she starts to walk, which foot does she begin walking with? That's likely her dominant foot.

the point here is that her "clumsiness" may have a distinct cause as well as a distinct solution. Hope that helps...

Why limit TV and computer games?
http://ping.fm/7L9XC

TV and video games like cocaine?

TV and video games are like cocaine to ASD children--Very addictive. given the opportunity, some ASD children (and adults) will be happy to replace all human interaction with TV and Video Games.

Several things contribute to this phenomena:
1) the Light Emitting Diodes that make up TV and Computer screens emit rather than reflect light. This is very different than the way we normally see (think of it as staring into a flashlight) and can have a stress-inducing effect on the nervous system.
2) The flicker of the screen also has a stress-inducing effect. Some epileptic children can be thrown into seizures by the flicker of a computer screen.
3) The average cartoon or children's program changes the screen every 0.8 to 1.5 seconds. This has the effect of making everything more exciting and, again, has a stress-inducing, attention-robbing effect on the ASD child.
4) Finally, in order to appeal to both adults and children, most children's programs contain adult languaging and adult references. These references can be extremely confusion or disconcerting to ASD children who are already often struggling with understanding social conventions.

My experience is that most ASD children will benefit greatly from limited (one hour a day) TV and Media up through the age of twelve.

While I may be convenient for parents to use the TV as a babysitter (even I do it on occasion), we, and our children, will likely pay a high price in the long run for excessive Media exposure.

...Use the template 40-50 times to build confidence.
If you want, add a [why/because] between two
[noun][verb][object] clauses.

Tip#88: don't assume every child knows how to write a sentence. Try a template:
[someone/something] [did something] [where/when/to whom]...

Here's a little communication tip for Parents of kids on Spectrum...
http://ping.fm/hxNvL

Here's a little communication tip for Parents of kids on Spectrum

1) get your child's attention (make physical contact if possible);
2) paint a picture--simple and clear;
3) get to your point, FAST! (15-30 seconds--no more)
4) Only ask for one thing at a time (until you've learned how to communicate more);
4) Then ask the question, "Do you SEE what I mean?"
5) Good luck!

ps: If your child is looking down while you are speaking, he is probably EVALUATING what you are saying and deciding what it means to him. If, however, he is looking up while you're speaking (especially if you're painting that picture), there is a good chance he is visualizing what you are saying.

In addition to improving her reading, writing and math, Abbie has become the best speller in class by using her Visual Spelling Strategy!!!

Congrat's to Abbie G. - from D's and C's and struggling just 6 months ago, She is officially on the Honor Role with all A's and B's. Yea!

I'm not saying you HAVE to be ADHD or ASD to compete in Robotics... but I sure doesn't seem to hurt. LOL

If you ever want to see the magic of those visual-spacial, outside-the-box, thinkers, just go to a Robotics competition. It's awesome.

I'm so proud of my son, Avery, and the El Dorado County First Robotics team--1st place in the Regional Competition--going to Nationals...

So I finish watching Charlton Heston as Moses. I come to bed... there's a baby lamb in diapers IN MY BED! Is this just a little bit strange?

On to Nationals....

It's all over. The El Dorado County First Robotics Team, 3189, the Circuit Breakers, has won the Sacramento Regional Competition.

El Dorado County team, 3189, has won their semi-finals match and will be competing in the finals.

Working with an entire team of natural born visual-spatial, outside-the-box, puzzle-solving thinkers is just too much fun!

Those who know me, know that I struggled with my own Dyslexia and ADHD before coming to help others overcome their own struggles...

REminder, the El Dorado County First team is "the Circuit Breakers", team 3189.

The first 15 seconds of competition is autonomous mode. The robots are either operating independently or are controlled by a Wii controller

for those new to FIRST Robotics, this years competition is playing basketball. most of the robots have a targeting system for shooting
.

take a look at some very amazing and hard-working kids at the Sacto, Regional First Robotics competition.
http://ping.fm/G0MhH

In honor of Pi Day, 2-year-old memorizes PI
http://ping.fm/csTF0

New addition to Learning Center. Brogan and Ester gave birth to a new baby lamb this weekend (the boys want to name him, "Spartacus").

In honor of PI Day, March 14 (3-14), I've re-posted a speed-ed up version of my 2,026 digits of PI from memory http://ping.fm/ONf0c

I'm having trouble with Temple Grandin's mother

OK, I'm having mixed emotions about Temple Grandin's mother.

More and more I've been reading or hearing Temple Grandin's mother made her do this. Temple Grandin's mother made her do that. Temple Grandin's mother forced her to go here and there.

We need to remember that Temple Grandin's mother was VERY educated and Temple, herself has an extreemly high I.Q. She followed her instincts with Temple and paid very close attention to the results.

If she had blindly followed some personal agenda or someone else's advice, she could have just as easily drove her to suicide. As it was, in order to survive her mother's pushing, Temple, herself, came up with some fairly extreme coping mechanisms.

My point here is, EVERY CHILD IS DIFFERENT. Pushing them to utilize their abilities is one thing. Pushing them beyond their limits is simply cruel.

How to improve your child's IEP?

http://ping.fm/AI4XY

how to improve IEP's

The problem is public schools have their way of doing things and everything else is essentially off limits or disregarded. In a one-size-fits-all model, recognizing different learning styles and using brain-training and educational coaching to improve a child's ability to learn are simply not recognized.

Understanding a child's learning style and teaching them HOW to learn, is key to their improvement.

ps: I'm NOT talking about the outdated learning style model (visual, auditory, kinesthetic). I'm referring to a new model that uses 4 distinct learning styles, each with its own strengths and weaknesses.

Schools need to STOP trying to change children into something they are not. They need to STOP teaching to a child's weaknesses. They need to understand and appreciate a child's strengths.

Here's an example: A child is identified as having ADHD (possibly Dyslexia). Everyone's talking about what he can't do. He can't focus. He can't pay attention. He can't retain what he reads (probably mis-read and poor comprehension). EVERYONE is focused on what he can't do.

That same child probably has exceptional puzzle-solving skills and pattern recognition. He has amazing visual-spatial acuity, IF he can be taught to use it. With brain-training and some stress-reduction exercises, he could be taught to focus. If taught to read and spell visually rather than auditorally, he can memorize anything. given simple strategies to organize his thoughts, he can be an amazing writer.

Hope that helps.
swish4fish

A different perspective on trust and therapy... http://ping.fm/ZiV60

I recently heard, "The relationship with the therapist is more important than the therapist's intervention."

With convention cognitive therapy, I would completely agree with that statement. This requirement is but one of the limitations of conventional therapy and speaks directly to its ineffectiveness in cases like these.

My personal experience is that solutions to the issues we're discussing will not be found in any cognitive process. The root of these issues are the perceptions and processes which are generated in the unconscious mind. The thoughts, feelings and behaviors that result from these unconscious processes are like the caboose at the end of the train. It is the unconscious perceptions and processes that drive these thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

Trying to change someone's thoughts, feelings and behaviors without changing the underlying perceptions and processes is simply pulling on a rubber band. As soon as you let go, it will surely snap back to its original state, hence the overwhelming failure of well-meaning psychologists, psychiatrists, teachers and counselors to bring about any lasting change for these children, teens and adults.

I routinely work with children and teens who are openly distrustful and even hostile to their "enrollment" (under duress) into my program. My approach is not to work at the conscious or cognitive level with these children. Instead, I use a variety of techniques to act on the unconscious mind to bring about changes that the client, themselves, are not even aware of.

Similar to the way the brain learns to process the complex information necessary to ride, over a period of weeks or months, the clients perceptions gradually change and subsequently, so do their thoughts, feelings and behaviors. Because these changes are driven by the unconscious, they occur as feeling absolutely natural to the individual.

In essence, I agree with the concept of the statement with the proviso that the rapport and feeling of trust can occur at the unconscious level. With training and practice, this unconscious rapport can be established in as little as a few minutes.

Be aware and present to what is going on with our children

My recent trip to Disneyland, showed that most trips to Disneyland are not child led but adult driven.

An critical step in effective parenting is letting go of our own agenda--what our children should be, instead seeing them for who they are.

Unfortunately good intentions, even good parenting is not enough with the children we're discussing here. While I would not attempt to adequately describe even one of those three types in this space, suffice to say they/we (myself included) are very different than 'normal' folks. We experience the world differently. I was one of these kids and now I work with them every day.

As an identifiable group, we make up 15%-20% of the children today--that's millions of children in the US, alone. Out of the millions, only a small percentage turn violent. Research show that as many as half of these children will manage to find a niche in society that allows them to be relatively successful. Many find their actions driven by fear rather than anger. Many others self-medicate with drugs or alcohol. And a fair percentage give up on the idea of succeeding or fitting in with society and wind up in our courts and jails.

Identifying, understanding and helping these children takes more than good intentions. It takes education and experience. Many of my parents are shocked at the accuracy with which I can describe the struggles their children are having and the struggles that they are having with their children with just a bit of information or a short evaluation. Every often the children are shocked. I recall one very troubled girl turning the her mother saying, "How does he know what's inside my head?"

Dr. Sears, T. Berry Brazelton and many other child specialists are awesome in their advice to parents of 'normal' children. But these children(we) are not normal. Normal parenting books don't apply. Any most of the books and advice that I've read for parenting the ADHD child, the Defiant Child and so on, are for the most part, nonsense.

They seen to be written by well-meaning folks who want to help parents or teachers or counselors turn these other children into normal children. They want to help us think, learn and act like normal children. In my experience it's not going to happen.

Probably the biggest difference between the work I do with children and the work of others is I don't make them wrong for who they are. I'm not trying to change them or help them be like the other kids. I don't compare them to 'normal' kids. I simply try to understand them and appreciate them for who they are. I help them develop their natural gifts to support them in their goals--their agenda. I help them believe in themselves.

BTW - this group of children--the same group of children that are at risk--these are the children that ultimately shape our world (for good or ill). These children are the creative, often driven, outside-the-box thinkers, who defy convention, defy 'what is' in pursuit of that which does not yet exist. They(we) are not deterred by social conventions nor are we constrained by current memes. We exist at the boundary of chaos--when new ideas and new possibilities are born.

For many Children, Negative Emotions are like Blood to a Shark

As parents, we all experience negative emotions--anger, frustration, disappointment--from time to time. It’s absolutely normal and healthy. And it’s probably important for our children to see that we are human and can express our emotions in a healthy way.

But for many children, negative emotions are like blood to a shark. In a way it makes sense. Just about any psychologist can tell you that underneath all negative emotions is fear. And we all know that if you can elicit fear from an “adversary”, you gain a distinct advantage.

I suspect that children understand this on an instinctual level. They learn very quickly how to elicit negative emotions from one or both parents and, as many parents have noticed, will quite often pass up the opportunity to receive a positive emotional response in favor of a negative emotional response.

So, what happens when a child learns that he or she can elicit negative emotions from one or both parents? What can we do as parents? How can we keep our children from making us jump through these emotional hoops?

The short answer is let go of negative emotions. Get therapy, practice yoga, scream into a pillow, do whatever you need to do release negative emotions in a way that is NOT in front of your child. Whatever your child does, remain calm and cool-headed. Remember, when you show anger or frustration, what your child sees is FEAR. In that moment, he or she will instinctively know that he or she has gained the upper hand.
Once this pattern is established, it can be very, very, very tough to break. It will take time and persistence to regain cooperation and trust—trust that you as the parent are in control. The child may continue to push those buttons for some time and may even take more extreme measures to elicit those old emotions.

The best advice I can offer is to not take things too seriously. Try to find the humor in whatever is happening. Keep those boundaries realistic and firm. And always follow through with logical/reasonable consequences when necessary. Sometimes a bit of professional coaching can help to improve communication and "break the cycle" of negative emotions. In just about any circumstance, it’s hard to beat love and affection.