Who am I?

It was said that Bodhidarma (the first Patriarch of Zen) sat facing a wall for nine years listening to the ants scream. A Seeker came to Bodhidarma and begged that Bodhidarma give him peace for his soul. Finally, as a token of his sincerity, the man cut off his right arm and presented it to Bodhidarma as a token of his sincerity.

Bodhidarma said to the Seeker, “If you want peace of Soul, you must bring me your soul.”

To which the man replied, “That’s the problem. I cannot find my soul, much less bring it to you.”

“Then you see,” said Bodhidarma, “I have given you peace of soul.”

If the “I”, the “I am”, is not simply a noun, but is, in fact, a verb, if the “I am” does not exist as an “is” but as a being, then the answer to the question, “Who am I?” is simply snapshot in time, a retrospective look at who I was being at a given moment—a moment, however recent, from my past.

If the “I am” is an expression of being, then any answer to the question, “Who am I?” is, in reality, an answer to the question, “Who was I being?”. As Heidegger wrote, “Diesin (man as being) understands itself as its possibility to be or not to be itself.”

If the “I am” is an expression of being, then the more appropriate or empowering questions for us to ask ourselves may be, "Who am I being?" or “Who am I becoming?” or “Who am I as possibility?”

Business Management, Tennis and Parenting

Ask a mediocre or mid-level manager what professional coaching they've received and you're likely to get a blank stare. However, talk to any self-respecting, high-powered, top-performing business executive and ask THEM what training they've done and the odds are they will give you a list of personal and professional coaching that they've received.

Similarly, if you're goal is to be a mediocre tennis player at the club level, you might be inclined to get coaching on a monthly or weekly basis. But if you're goal is to compete at the national or international level, you're looking at daily coaching. The more you want to raise your level of play, the more coaching you need. It is simply the cost of doing business.

Now, if you're goal is to simply get by as a mediocre parent, probably using your own parents or your own childhood as reference, there's really no need to receive coaching. Just wing it and do your best.

However, if your goal is to be a great parent, if you want to raise the level of your parenting, then the answer is coaching. Yes, you can read books, talk to friends, get lots of free advice on Facebook or Twitter. But the surest way to cut through the nonsense and confusion and get the right answers at the right time is to get professional coaching.

There is simply no substitute for professional coaching from someone who is specially trained; someone who has "been there, done that"; someone who can look at your issues from outside the problem, as an objective observer; someone who will often have the answers before you even ask the question.

There are very few qualifications to be a parent. And in most cases, it doesn't take that much even to be a good parent. But to be a GREAT PARENT...